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Sins of the Father
SINS OF THE FATHER Not just a cold wind or a cold spot, but the cold had become something more. It was a state of being from which only temporary relief could be had. The occasional fires that should have should have provided some relief was akin to torture. The heat was painful on the skin, yet only by being so close to the flame that it risked burning was any warmth felt. Too quickly it was gone, and it made the returning cold that much harder to bear. Worst of all was the feeling that it would never end. The summer of 1942 had passed too quickly, and with no escape possible, its temporary warmth was a tease. Now in January, at least Ivan thought it was January, the cold simply was. Like the hunger, it gnawed his bones. He felt he would be hungry for the rest of his days, which at the moment seemed close. The Nazi's had completed encircling the city in September 1941. Of the two and a half million residents of Leningrad, nearly six hundred thousand had escaped before the city was surrounded. The rest? Ivan had no idea how many were left. The first winter had been hard, but Ivan remembered it fondly now. His family had still been alive. His grandparents had fled, but his father had insisted on staying and defending his beloved city. Now his parents were both dead and his younger brother Nicholi had been missing for two weeks. Nicholi. Surely he also was dead, killed by a German artillery shell, or worse. The shells streaked overhead daily, aimed by the Nazi's seemingly at random to different sections of the city. Would they never run out of ammunition? They sat out there across the river, warm and full, killing them off a few at time. The bastards bombarded the city at all different hours. Ivan hadn't slept more than an hour or two at a time in over a month. When he was awake, he hunted for food, wood and clean ice for drinking water he and his adopted family needed to survive. The cold bit into his flesh like the teeth of tiny animals. Animals that no longer lived within a mile of the city. All of the creatures were gone, from the largest horse to the smallest mouse. Even birds no longer flew into this city of death. The pain in his skin was unbearable, but it was nothing compared to the teeth that tore at his belly. There had been times standing in the food lines before the war that Ivan had thought he had been hungry, but in those days he had rarely missed a meal. The first winter in the besieged city had been hard and he had wept when he had to kill his dog. He wept harder when his family ate it. Now he would give anything to have another dog or cat or even a mouse to eat. The last "meal" he had shared with his new family had been the leather of old belts and shoes he had taken from the dead, which lined the streets like the cordwood they also lacked. There was no one left to dig graves and the ground was too hard anyway. More bodies piled up until every street was lined. The ration cards got them only 400 grams of what the government men called bread, made mostly of sawdust with only some dark grain to hold it together. It was not enough, not nearly enough, to stay alive. Some people had started boiling glue from shoes and eating the old worn leather. So was Ivan. He picked over the dead for belts and shoes. If he got lucky, he might find a ration card missed by other scavengers. A week later the bodies had been stripped clean of anything useful. Ivan had to go farther from home in search of wood to burn. He would walk for a block and rest, walk a block and rest. He had looked at himself in the mirror the night before and was shocked at how his body had wasted away. He had been strong, built like his father and his grandfather before him. Lately he looked more like the dead in the streets. He could see part of a house in the block ahead, partially torn down for its wood, but there was plenty left. He shambled on, not resting until he was next to the pile of wood. He knew he could not carry much but hoped to make two more trips before dark. He was not more than a mile from home, but it seemed as far away as Moscow. He gathered what pieces he could and went back the way he came. The small pieces of bread and this firewood must be enough for tonight. Yesterday he had given his piece to Tanya; the youngest of his new adopted family. He must keep them safe, must keep them alive. He was sick of hunger and cold but most of all he was sick of death. The children must make it, even if he didn't. Five blocks from his apartment he saw an old man at the door of a building to his left. The man motioned for him to approach and looked up and down the street nervously. Ivan didn't want to stop and risk losing his wood, but the man looked so familiar and so helpless. He struggled up to the door with his burden and the man motioned him inside. Ivan shook his head no, to tired to speak. "That is a lot of wood you have there." Said the old man. Ivan stepped back. "No. Don't go. I would trade with you." Ivan looked around, expecting some trick, but the man appeared alone, and so familiar. "You are Joseph's son, no? I knew your family. I haven't seen you since you were a boy." Ivan nodded and looked more closely at the man's face. He could not remember the name, but he had seen this man in his father's house years ago. "Ivan isn't it? My name is also Ivan, Ivan Chekovich. Your father and I were close for many years. I was sorry to hear that he and your mother died. Come," the old man looked up and down the street suspiciously, "I have a few old potatoes left to trade." Ivan salivated involuntarily and took a step closer. He had eaten nothing but boot leather and the small slices of ration bread for weeks. "Truly? Potatoes?" "Quiet." The old man hissed. "Do you want the world to know?" He looked around again, but the streets were deserted. "They had started to rot and now are frozen solid. I have only a few, but they are little good to an old man with so few teeth if I can't thaw them. You are young and strong and can get more wood. I will give you one potato for all of the wood you carry and two more loads the same size." Ivan felt weak as a child and was barely able to go more than a few blocks without resting, but compared to this old man, he must seem young and vital. Still, a potato, probably small and rotted was worth easily a few loads of wood. In these coldest days, what good was even a fresh potato if you froze to death before you could eat it? Ivan nodded and climbed the small stairs and stepped inside the brick building. It was completely empty, except for the old man. He gestured weekly to a makeshift fire pit in the far corner. Ivan shuffled over and dropped his bundle gratefully. The prospect of food was enticing, but he thought he would have shared wood with this man simply because he was a link to a better time. Ivan thought all of his family's friends had either left or died. His own friends had all joined the army before the siege. Only Ivan and his brother Nicholi had stayed with his father as part of the cities defenses. The old man had a sad faint smile on his face, as if lost in his own memories of better times. Ivan shuffled past him and down the front stairs to collect the other two loads. Ivan had to stop and rest more each trip. He worried he had committed too much for the trade. What good was even a potato if he couldn't make it back home tonight? When he dropped his last pile the old man smiled. "You carried more than I had thought, the trade is not fair and now you are exhausted. Please, take your last load home with you." Ivan nodded and smiled his thanks. The old man went to the back of the apartment and motioned Ivan to follow. Ivan took a deep breath and followed his father's friend down some stairs. It felt warmer below ground where no wind could find cracks through which to blow. Ivan saw the faint glow of candlelight at the far end of the cellar. Candles were rare these days and it seemed a waste to leave one burn. The old man motioned Ivan to a box covered in rags and he moved closer to see his payment. The old man lifted some rags to reveal what appeared to be four dirty potatoes, each about the size of a child's closed fist. He felt drool slip down his chin. "Beautiful." Ivan said. Hauling the wood had taken precious daylight, but it was worth it. Ivan could see that they were partially rotten as the old man had said, but even the rotten parts would taste like sweet nectar. He heard a sliding across the stone behind him and turned, startled because he thought himself alone with the old man. A large figure loomed above him holding a huge chunk of timber over his head, just visible in the weak light. The figure swung down hard, grunting with the effort and Ivan fell backwards away from the blow that hit the box instead of him. Ivan called out a warning to the old man but saw a small knife in his hand and a look of hunger on his old shriveled face. The hulking figure stepped forward and swung the makeshift club over his head again and Ivan kicked out as hard as he could with both legs, catching the enormous man in the knee. He heard a loud crunch and the hulk grunted and fell to his right, landing hard on top of the old man, pinning him to the ground. Ivan heard something snap as the larger man landed and knew the old man was hurt. The knife fell out of the old man's hand and lay just a few feet from him. Ivan lunged for it. The giant man tried to regain his feet and hold onto his club. He slipped once and fell back on the old man. Ivan's hand found the handle of the thin blade and watched as it drove the knife into the giant's neck. He felt a spray of hot liquid hit him in the face, and he screamed in shock and pushed away. The huge man made it to his feet but was unable to put any weight on his shattered knee. He pulled the knife from his neck and bellowed in agony. The thing used the club as a cane and took a step toward Ivan. He took another and Ivan could just make out the brutish face in the thin candlelight. He had a thick long beard that hung down to his chest and grew up almost to his eyes, which were hidden under a heavy brow. The savage bared its remaining teeth at Ivan and raised the knife high in his left hand. The giant fell forward and aimed the knife at Ivan's face and all he could do was curl into a ball and wait for the killing blow. Ivan felt the full weight of the berserker as he landed on him. He waited for the blade to enter his face or neck, but the giant didn't move. The stench of stale sweat and shit filled his nose and he fought the reflex to gag. Ivan soon realized that the thing was as dead as the old man seemed to be. He tried to shove off the great bulk, but he couldn't move. He laughed. He had not laughed in so long, but his bitter laugh was in recognition that he had miraculously survived being killed by these two men, only to be trapped beneath one of them where he would most likely die of thirst or the cold. Ivan felt a white hot anger at the unfairness of it all. He had to live in order to protect his new family of abandoned children, and now he had survived an attack only to die in this stupid way. No! He could not die like this. He must get back to his family. They must live. He rocked back and forth. He barely moved an inch at first, but he was able to move the dead weight back and forth further with each effort. He felt the thing slip to his right and he heaved with all his remaining strength. Like an avalanche of flesh, the hulk slid slowly off him and rolled onto its back. Ivan took in a deep breath and lay there on the cold floor for a long time. He realized that he must get back. It must already be dark and Sasha and the others would fear the worst. He hoped they were smart enough not to come looking for him. Ivan rolled onto his hands and knees and pushed himself up. He went to the box and collected the potatoes. There were seven; three had been hidden deeper in the rags. It was a treasure trove. He tied them up in a bundle and searched the cellar for a stick to help carry them and his wood back home. He went to the candle, hoping to find more then chastising himself for his greed. He was alive and had more food than he thought was left in all of Leningrad, and here he was hoping for a pile of candles he couldn't even carry. Near the candle that he had decided he would take, he saw a large wood door. He realized that the whole back wall was made of wood instead of brick so there must be a large room beyond the door. He grabbed up the candle and a handful of wooden matches, which he put in his pocket. The wood around the door handle was stained dark. He reached out for the handle and stopped. He had heard horrible stories and was not sure he wanted to know what lay beyond the door. He withdrew his hand and turned, deciding to leave it a mystery better left unknown. He went back to his would be murderers and retrieved the knife before heading for the stairs. A faint noise made him turn, afraid another unseen man was attacking him. There was nothing there and Ivan turned once more to leave when he heard the noise again. It was a low scraping noise of metal on metal and it came from behind the door. If he had drunk anything in the last few hours, Ivan was sure he would have pissed himself, but clean drinking water was almost as scarce as food, so dehydration saved him from the shame of it. The metallic scraping pulled his attention back to the door. He thought briefly about lighting it on fire, how warm it would be. He approached the door again and reached for the handle. The scraping noise startled him. It was much louder now and seemed just beyond the door. With great effort, he pushed the door open and stepped back. His small candle only cast long shadows into the room. He stepped forward trying to see more detail. Finally, sensing no threat, he stepped inside. Though he thought it impossible, this back room seemed even colder than outside. He gripped himself to stop from shaking and held his candle high. In the middle of the long, shallow room was a huge slab of a wooden table. It was supported by what looked like tree trunks and was as large as a bed. There was a large cleaver stuck into the center and smaller knives hung from nails along its edge. Ivan wanted more than ever to leave this place, but after being through so much, he had to know. He stepped closer and saw small bits of bone and flesh encrusted into the top of the table. He heard the small squeak of metal to his right and lifted his light to see large chucks of meat hanging from hooks secured to the ceiling. He stepped closer and could make out human arms, legs and other less identifiable pieces, all suspended in a canopy of gore. Ivan dry heaved involuntarily and turned from the spectacle, sure that he had seen all he ever wanted to see and cursed himself for his curiosity. He was almost clear of the butcher's room when he stumble. He almost went down but caught himself on the doorframe, but dropped his candle in the process and the flame snuffed out. Ivan lowered himself to his hands and knees and searched for the candle. He heard the heavy door swing shut and panicked. The thought of being trapped with the "meat" made him feel faint. He kept sliding his hands back and forth where he thought he saw it roll but he knew he was disoriented. He lit one of the precious matches and saw the small candle inches in front of him. He gratefully picked it up and relit it. The sudden flare hurt his eyes and it took him a moment to adjust. Still crouched, he turned back toward the door and looked directly into the blinking eyes of a woman. He sat back heavily and tried to scream, but nothing came out. The woman looked as if she was screaming, but no sound came from her either. Ivan saw that she was chained to the wall behind the door and his fear changed to concern. "I won't hurt you." Ivan whispered not wanting to cause her more fear. "The men that did this to you are dead, they can no longer hurt you." The woman continued to stare wide eyed at Ivan. She looked to be older than him but it was difficult to tell these days when even children looked old. She was covered in a large blanket up to her neck and her arms were chained above her head and secured to the wall. Despite his words, she looked no less frightened, and tried to pull away when he reached for her. The chains were held in place by an ancient looking padlock. "One of them must have a key. I will fetch it and free you in no time." The woman just stared at him, clearly still terrified. Ivan had no idea how long she had been chained, but the things she must have seen would horrify anyone. He went outside to the stairs and searched the large man. He was gigantic. Almost seven feet tall and weigh easily in excess of four hundred pounds. Most of that was muscle, and Ivan marveled at the man's ability to retain so much flesh when so many were wasting away to nothing. He realized then how many people the huge man would have had to eat to stay in such condition. He shuddered at the thought and wondered where they hid all of the bones. The key was around the old man's neck, secured by a strap of rawhide. Ivan pulled it free and went back to the room. He opened the door carefully, not wanting to startle the woman. He bent down to her eye level and eased his hands carefully toward the lock. He could see now that her arms were raw around the shackles and there was dried blood on the metal. He put the key in the lock and turned it one way and then the other until he heard a dull click. The chain around the woman's left arm slid off the shank of the lock and dropped heavily to the ground and she fell hard to her side still staring wildly at Ivan. Her other arm was still trapped in the shackle and Ivan carefully slid out the lock and lowered her right arm. She was at an odd angle against the wall and Ivan tried to move her on her back to a more comfortable position. She was much lighter than he imagined and she slid around toward him, looking up in his eyes. He thought she looked less terrified than before and that she was trying to convey something else with her eyes. She opened her mouth again and he saw that her tongue had been removed. "I am so sorry." He tried to help her up and froze. He looked at the wall and the pile of blankets on top of the woman. She was facing the wall with her waist just inches from the wood. He pulled the blanket aside and saw her legs had been removed like her tongue, cut away with little skill and apparently burned to stop the bleeding. Her stumps had not completely healed and fluid oozed from the wounds. She was completely naked under the heavy blanket and it was clear by her condition that she had been repeatedly raped. He looked into her eyes and held her limp hand to his lips. Her eyes held no fear now, only pleading. "Are you sure?" Ivan barely got out the words. She nodded yes, closed her eyes and offered her throat to him. Before he lost his nerve he cut with the small blade that had felled a giant. Instead of a great spurt, there was only a small trickle of blood, which pooled onto the floor. Ivan held the woman and sang a song his mother had sung to him when she had rocked him to sleep a thousand years ago. The woman looked into Ivan's eyes and smiled. He held her long after the pool of blood had frozen. Hans marveled at the winter beauty of rural Germany as he rode in the back of a very nice limousine through the most breathtaking countryside as the car climbed up into the mountains. He was a bit anxious about meeting with such a wealthy prospective client. His architectural firm had not been doing well as of late and they could really use a large contract to keep them going. His instructions had been clear and required complete confidentiality. It was not the first time a customer had requested absolute secrecy for a meeting, but Hans had felt bad lying to his wife about the trip. He liked to take her with him and she had been disappointed. He had never heard of the client's family before, but the name sounded Russian, or possible Ukrainian, he could never keep them straight. It still felt a little strange doing business with Russia. The Berlin wall had been gone for eighteen years, but it had been a constant presence for most of his life. A bump in the road jarred him from his revelry and he looked up the steep drive to see the rooftop of a large mansion. The limo had been a good sign, but if the roofline was any indication, his new client was loaded. As the car leveled off and pulled up to the entrance, Hans was not disappointed. The mansion was beautiful, clearly from last century and yet restored to its original glory. The chauffer opened his door, ushered him in, took his overnight bag and showed him to a large reception area. "Dinner will be served momentarily," said the butler before he took Hans's bag upstairs. Hans took a seat and waited. He thought he detected a draft and shivered. After a few minutes he had to stand up and pace to keep warm. The butler came back to take him to the dining room. Hans was about to protest about the temperature, but a fire in the room wouldn't help much now that he was leaving. He followed the man, thankful to be moving. Hans's mood improved when he saw the wall hangings. They looked original and in fine condition. If the rest of the mansion was decorated like this, there were tens of millions of dollars worth of furnishings alone. They moved through a great hall and turned right though a vaulted archway into the formal dining room. There was a huge fireplace against the left wall, but no fire burned there. Hans was warmed somewhat by the short walk, but was acutely aware that if anything, this room was colder than the entryway. A large extravagant wood table stretched most of the length and width of the room, with just enough space for servants to move around. At the far end, seated at the head of the table, was an ancient looking man in formal attire. Four men and five women closer to Hans's sixty years flanked him down both sides of the table. They all looked at Hans with warm open smiles. Hans smiled back involuntarily and a servant pulled out his chair opposite the old man. It was a place of honor, and he was flattered to be treated with such courtesy. Many of the rich people Hans had dealt with over the years saw him as no better than a scullery maid, and he had many times been asked to come and go through the servant's entrance. Hans was surprised when a strong youthful voice escaped the old man's parchment lips. "You are well met Mr. Silbernagel. Thank you for agreeing to come to our humble home." The old man's accent was definitely Russian, though he spoke German well. Hans looked around again and wondered if this man owned a more luxurious home elsewhere. "Thank you sir for inviting me. It is a beautiful home, simply beautiful." The old man smiled at this and gestured for the servants to bring around glasses of water. Hans took his glass, aware of just how thirsty he had become and took a long drink. The water was heavily iced which made him colder still and had a strange metallic taste that made him wince. Hans turned it into a smile so as to not offend his host. "Mr. Silbernagel, is your family from this area?" "That's right Mr. Josevich my family has lived in the area for many generations. I couldn't help but notice your accent sir. Where does you family hail from?" The old man smiled, his eyes bright and alert. "We hail from St. Petersburg originally. A beautiful city, have you ever been there?" "No sir, I have never had the pleasure, though I studied some of the buildings while getting my architectural degree. I would like to go sometime, the photos I have seen are magnificent, simply magnificent. May I ask sir how long you have been here?" Again the old man smiled, as if he expected the question. "We took position only five years ago. I had my eye on it for quite some time and finally talked the former owner into selling it to me. Since then, we have done a lot of, how do you say? Renovation? Yes that is the word." Hans looked around again at the detail of the stone and woodwork. It was indeed impressive. Hans took another drink of water. He forgot it tasted foul and this time could not hide his displeasure. The old man nodded absently and motioned for the staff to proceed with the first course. "Tell me Mr. Silbernagel, did your father serve in the war?" Hans felt uncomfortable as he always did when the subject of the war came up. His father had served on the Russian front and had not liked to speak of it. "Please, call me Hans. Yes sir, he did serve as many men did at the time." "Thank you, Hans, and please you must call me Ivan. Do you know where he served during the war?" Hans felt warmer, though no one had started a fire in the hearth. Perhaps there was some sort of central air. "No Ivan. My father never spoke of the war, not even near the end. He died many years ago." "I am sorry to hear that, very sorry indeed. Would it surprise you to know your father served in St. Petersburg, what was then called Leningrad?" Hans stopped smiling at the mention of the old Soviet name. He had heard his father utter the name a few times. It was always with a mixed look of sorrow and fear. "I knew only that he served on the Russian front. He never mentioned details from the war." Ivan nodded at that. "Many have tried to forget. I understand the desire. Though I cannot." Hans felt a bit off as if he were coming down with something. The servants brought in the first course, a large platter with ornate silver covers. They removed the covers to reveal what looked like small dirty potatoes. Hans looked more closely and it appeared that the potato was partially rotten and there was actual some dirt clinging to the skin. "Forgive me for not mentioning it sooner Hans, this is a very auspicious occasion," Ivan said. "Fifty years ago today, we had a great feast that saved our lives." Hans looked up to see everyone else at the table digging in with zeal. He hesitated, then grabbed for his knife and fork, unsure if this was some sort of prank. No one looked at him as they cut into their potatoes, which were all in similar condition. After a few bites, Ivan began to speak again. "Are you familiar with the Siege of Leningrad, Hans?" Hans paused; somewhat grateful at being spared a moment before having to sample the potato. "I believe so. Wasn't it called the 900 days, or some such thing?" Ivan smiled, happy that Hans had paid attention in history class. "Indeed, indeed, the 900 days. It was in truth only 842, but 900 sounds much better, yes?" Hans smiled in return. "Yes, much better. What are a few days after all `eh?" Ivan stopped smiling but continued to speak. "Yes, what are a few day here or there. It seems Hans that your father was a rather humble man for not telling you of the part he played." "What part was that?" Asked Hans, his smile also faded. "Your father commanded the entire German contingent which lay siege to Leningrad for the entire 900 days. Give or take a few days as you said. A very important man in the German Army, very important indeed." He had known his father had been a general, but he would not discuss the war and Hans found it disturbing that his father had led the forces at Leningrad. He was trying to remember his history, but it was so long ago and he was having trouble concentrating. He looked up and had a difficult time focusing on Ivan so far away at the other end of the long table. "Yes, Hans, your father was a great German warrior. The siege of Leningrad was something to behold. You cannot appreciate your father's accomplishments by reading history. It is truly something that must be experienced." Hans heard the old man's voice but could no longer see him or anything else. He felt himself drifting off, and thought he heard far off singing, then nothing. Hans could not ever remember being so cold in his life. He woke up in what appeared to be a barren room in the early morning, the light filtered in through dirty glass. He was no longer wearing his clothes, but some kind of peasants rag and a large soiled blanket was wrapped around him. He pushed himself up into a sitting position. His joints were stiff and he had to pee. He looked around for some answer as to where here was and how he had gotten there. He walked stiffly to the front door and opened it. He appeared to be on a city street, but none he recognized. The buildings were not German design, but instead looked turn of the century Russian. He walked down the short flight of stairs and looked up and down the street for some sign of life. There must be at least ten complete city blocks, all filled with the same Russian style buildings, but no people. Instead, he saw a large sign at the end of the street. He walked toward it, pulling the blanket against his body in a vain attempt to get warm. He walked around to the front of the sign and stared up in confusion. The sign said `Leningrad' in large letters, but on the old looking sign was also what appeared to be a digital display like those on a scoreboard. There was also a camera and a larger speaker mounted to the top of the sign. "Good morning, Hans, I trust you slept well?" It was the voice of the old man. "Welcome Hans to Leningrad, or at least the closest facsimile I could create. You are no doubt wondering why you are here?" Hans could only stare at the camera. He was too confused and too cold to even mount a protest. The entire situation simply defied explanation. "You are the guest of honor, Hans, but you are not alone. You have five hundred of your countrymen and women with you to keep you company." The large digital display light up suddenly. It read 842:00:00:00, and started to roll backwards, counting down. "For the next 842 days precisely Hans, this will be your home, yours and all of the descendants of the German officers who were in charge of the German forces at the Siege of Leningrad. You will be given every courtesy that your fathers gave to us during those 842 days, even the rations of bread, which made it through your lines. You will suffer as we suffered and if you are strong enough, you will survive as we few survived." Movement broke the spell as Hans turned to see people shuffling toward him. All were dressed in similar clothing. "There is one small difference Hans. You will see many cameras in your new home. There are many survivors of the 900 days who have paid a great deal of money to view this reality show. And you Hans are the star!" Hans looked into the bleak hungry faces of his fellow guests and began to shiver.
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Contributor's Note
This is a sampling of the type of Science Fiction Short Stories which can be found in THE TLO 2008 SCIENCE FICTION SHORT STORY COLLECTION.
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THE 2008 TLO WINTER COLLECTION
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The copyright for this content entitled "Sins of the Father" has been specified by the contributor as:
All Rights Reserved
This content may not be copied, distributed or adapted by anyone under any circumstances.
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May, 2012
2008
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2009
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2010
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2011
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2012
January, February, March, April, May
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